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Mommy, why is the sky blue? Mommy, where do babies come from? Daddy, how does the sun not fall out of the sky? As parents, we hear, what seems to be about a hundred questions a day. As soon as children's vocabulary skills start developing and they begin speaking in complex sentences, that's when the questions start - typically around 2 1/2 years of age, sometimes sooner.
As a mom and child care provider, I probably hear at least twice as many questions per day than the average parent. .I, myself, was a VERY inquisitive child (according to my parents), and now am an inquisitive adult. My philosophy is, "knowledge is power". If I am in a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable or I don't understand something, I arm myself with as much information about that subject as possible. I want to be sure to give the child an honest answer without making them feel embarassed or "dumb" for not knowing (especially the older kids). This is not to say that I don't experience the same frustrations and irritations or sense of inconvenience that other parents feel. Here are some way I deal with the questions without losing my sanity. Reflective Questioning - or at least that's what I call it One of the most common ways I like to answer the preschoolers is by reflecting their question back to them in the form of my own question. Example: "Ms. Traci, what are you doing?" or "Ms. Traci, why are you doing that?". Depending on what the situation is, I will answer something like this, "Well, I have a broom and a dust pan in my hand. What do YOU think I am getting ready to do?" or "Why do YOU think I am spraying down the table?". This method works especially well for smaller children because it encourages them to figure things out for themselves while giving them a sense of pride for having done so. Honest and Vulnerable Approach If your child asks you a scientific question such as, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" or "Mommy, how does the sun not fall out of the sky?", if you are unsure of the question, you can simply reply, "Actually, that is something I have always wondered too. Why don't we go look it up on the computer together?" This method works well on children between the ages of six to twelve years. It gives your child a sense of relief to know that you don't know everything about everything and that is okay, while allowing you and your child some bonding time to work together to solve a problem. The Cold Hard Truth As a child becomes a teenager, I belive it is important for them to start receiving the actual, true answers to life's questions. If your twelve or thirteen year old child comes to you and asks, "Mom, what is an erection?" or "Dad, what does it mean to be gay?" Chances are, by this age, your child is taking some sort of Sexual Education class at school and will be learning these things soon enough even if you don't answer it for them. How you handle this situation is of course at each parent's discretion, but I personally would rather be my child's educator on certain subjects rather than a phamplet or peer from school. In this situation, the internet can also be very helpful for information. Regardless of which method you use to answer your child's questions, be aware that he/she WILL find answers to them, one way or another. Wouldn't you rather make sure they get correct information that is helpful rather than incorrect or misconstrued answers that scare or confuse them? |
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