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As soon as a toddler realizes the power of the word "no", it quickly becomes their favorite word. Many times you will find them using it as the automatic answer for everything, even the questions that you know they would really say yes to normally. It is sometimes difficult for us as parents to not take offense to this response, assuming the child is being rebellious or non-compliant just for spite. Most times, however, this is not the case.
The first time your child said the word "no" to you, he/she was probably pretty little and still in the "'cute as a button" stage. Therefore, it took you by surprise when they said it and you probably either laughed or showed some sort of shock. This was a light bulb moment for your child. He/she realized that they could get a major reaction from you by using this word, thus getting your attention. Come on, let's be honest. How many times do we make a big deal when our child says yes to something? See my point? Attention, good or bad, is not as important as how much in a child's eyes. They want as much of your attention as they can get. It's just their nature. And if they see that using words such as "no" gets an immediate reaction, good or bad, from you then they will use it more often. Instead of saying something ridiculous about this, like we know we all have, "don't tell mommy/daddy no": try saying something like this: "I know you don't feel like - or want to - (put on your shoes, eat your breakfast, etc.), but this is what mommy/daddy asked you to do right now". "It's okay for you to not want to do this, but you still have to do what mommy/daddy asked you to do." Most of time, you will find that you get a positive response from this approach. Children just want to be heard and know they have a right to feel the way they feel. Doesn't everyone? |
